When I went back to Portland, the first night I was there, I felt so devastated so crushed.
This was the town I had run from the very instant I could manage it. It was here that I was left by my father and had terrible misunderstandings with my mother. It was here that my mother was so depressed and that I felt so alone. Here I became a heroin addict going on a crusade of self-destruction. Three years ago it is where I came to take care of my mother to be with her and to help her to die. When I went back, that first night I couldn't sleep and I stop crying. So much grief.