Blissqueen

In old projections booths there is a metal door
held open by a rope pulley and a weight
When the nitrate fire starts, it explodes.
The rope burns
the door closes
There are no handles on the inside
When the fire starts, sometimes I go in there

H*A*P*P*Y L*O*V*E*M*A*K*I*N*G A*N*N*I*V*E*R*S*A*R*Y

One of my secret missions down here is to learn French
Secretly, and suprise A
I thought surely I would be fluent by now
I am not
But
I can say “bonjour, formage, zee zee”
Like the best of them
Oh and “croissant” too!
Today I told my teacher that I might not see her again due to
my schedule. When I […]

I have heard that when people have babies
They cannot help themselves
The first thing they do
Is take off all of their clothes
And examine every little part…
Because every part is so amazing
This is what I am going to do to
Him the next time I see him
Which I hope is very very
soon

Mauve is getting me down…..
4 to 6 more weeks
Rue de Jean
Mussels in garlic sauce
I dipped half a baguette
I am drinking espresso
Listening to Nina Simone and
Fred Jackson
It seems to be helping

“the love experience begins when the two are permitted to see, through the intervention of the cosmos, the other's pure and good true selves.Each is permitted to see that the other is his natural and true mate. With this perception comes the knowledge that they fit together in their psychic and physical makeup like a […]

I know the voice of depression
Still calls to you.
I know those habits that can ruin your life
But you are with the Friend now
And look so much stronger.
You can stay that way
And even bloom!
Keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From your prayers and work and music
And from your companions' beautiful laughter.
Keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From the […]

I am still in Charleston, where it is very very cold.
I am trying to get a second wind for the charm of this city, so that I can finish out my time here in a good way, rather than being in LA in my head
and wondering why it is so cold
and everyone is so slow […]

Today I had a conversation with myself that ended like this
“look, I am not going to talk to you if you are going to be such an asshole”

I worked all day inside in the cold.
I left my hat and coat on and wore white cotton glove so my hands wouldn't freeze on the computer. Now, no matter what I do I can not get warm.
I am going to bed I don't care how early it is.
Good night!

I bought my gas in the bad part of town.
Where you can not use a credit card and you have to pre-pay.
I went inside and told the man behind the plastic window that I wanted to fill my
tank, but I had no idea how much it would cost.
As I was telling him I was thinking […]

Last night I went on a cleaning binge
I even folded some stranger's laundry
Secretly, just for the hell of it.

All of the clocks say different times
And I still haven't made time to eat the carrots
Among other things

There is some kiss we want with
our whole lives, the touch of
spirit on the body. Seawater
begs the pearl to break its shell.
And the lily, how passionately
it needs some wild darling! At
night, I open the window and ask
the moon to come and press its
face against mine. Breathe into
me. Close the language-door and
open […]

this year
I am even more in love than last

they will be so good
I will order thirteen

It is very cold then balmy
The air smoky and damp
From fires and the sea
I like the way my heels
Sound on the cobblestones
And I like the evening light downtown,
With it's big moon and light night sky
a hundred bats
Screeching in patterns
all around me.

I kissed him a lot
And spent time with my kitties
I saw my friends and felt so lucky
I have the coolest friends
He gave me a book called
“I love my girlfriend”
It made tears come to my eyes
We spent Christmas together
I like to be in the kitchen with him
I introduced him to my Grandmother
In a surprise attack she […]

Somewhere in the heart of experience, there is an order and a coherence which we might surprise if we were attentive enough, loving enough, or patient enough. Will there be time?
-Lawrence Durell: Justine