Saturday morning I wake up after Harrison and find him reading out by the pool. We are served miso and rice and delicious sea weed, I am starting to like George after all. His friend joins us for breakfast and regales us with stories of real estate deals gone bad. The music piped in to the pool sounds like a… Read more →

When I awake George is gone and Harrison is back with yummy tuna rolls and tempura and sake. We eat out by the pool. Everything is good again. It is hot and windy. No one else is there. This is exactly what we want. We sit in the Jacuzzi and lay on the hot cement looking at the stars and… Read more →

We arrive at the Japanese style bed and breakfast. The proprietor Goerge is very friendly. No, very friendly. My ex had forbade the use of the word “bed and breakfast” after an extended trip through the “bed and breakfasts” of Maine with his mother. And now it was all coming back to me. I was beginning to understand in a… Read more →

Harrison and I arrive at our “resort” at about 7 in the evening. It consists of a parking lot with a pool in the center of it …. I see his face, his vacation flash before his eyes. In shock we go to check in, I am on auto-pilot, “where is the fitness room?” and the women behind the desk… Read more →

May 30th I am out with friends, doing karoake I know that EB#6 lives very near, it would be so fun if he were here. I call him and he comes. I do hope that my carpenter' s duet, “Close to you”, will be over before he comes, but as it happens he arrives about two and a half minutes… Read more →

We are oddly comfortable and formal at the same time. We go to lunch and a cactus store. He is feeling ill and bad in general. I am sensing an effort to keep me at arms length and I do not understand, I am worried that any natural sign of affection will be unwanted or misinterpreted. There are so many… Read more →

I have been wearing my bikini all day long. Under my clothes with the ties hanging out and the polka dots showing through my shirt And in the mirror just to see if it covered all the things it should. Too bad it is not 1956 to 1965, I would be one hot motherfuckin chic. In 2002 I will just… Read more →

6 bachelors no kisses 3 not dating again 3 friends, some with possible privileges, but probably not. Read more →

it gets out of hand easily. Read more →

How is this supposed to work,? Can you just kiss people? it would be fun to just kiss people, you hug them hello and goodbye, I kissed e at a party once and it was great why can't I just do that? It would be good and fun Read more →

Since I will be graduating high school soon, I think I should start making out with boys. Just kissing. Remember when kissing was so fun? When all it meant was this? Main Entry: 1kiss Pronunciation: 'kis Function: verb Etymology: Middle English, from Old English cyssan; akin to Old High German kussen to kiss Date: before 12th century transitive senses 1… Read more →

Day of doing great nothing it is so rare that I do nothing that I consider it a great accomplishment Read more →

I want to define for myself the nature of my relationships. I have caused myself a lot of frustration trying to get certain things (inspirations, closeness, fun) from people who are not capable. I am trying to recognize what people have to offer and enjoy it and also acknowledge when people lack what I want and need and seek those… Read more →

Do you ever leave the water in the bath just in case you want to get back in? Read more →

It seems that we have moved clearly into the friendship only zone. We went to the farmers market. All of those people and vegetables were a little overwhelming. He had a bizarre interaction with the mushroom lady; they were hostility flirting, which I couldn't really figure out, except that it creeped me out. He introduced me to her and she… Read more →

we have breakfast together and he is still sweet as ever, and I still think I shouldn't get involved, because he seems like such a sincere guy. I realize I do not know what I am doing at all. I had a good time with him. He is totally clumsy and awkward and it is really cute. Read more →

I went to Portland and it was oh so beautiful and I didn't have a breakdown. No I didn't breakdown. Not like the last time, or all the times before. I didn't shut down either, no I didn't, I think I opened up. I went on a run and thought a million things. I ran and ran And thought about… Read more →

It is so beautiful and lush here. I am breathing green. I miss ya'all Read more →

We go on a hike, before I leave for Portland, the day before I go to Portland. He is tense and worried about work. We have tea at my house. He leaves, he still does not kiss me. He seems gun shy and not interested. I am starting to feel insulted. Read more →

Slightly awkward because there is someone there from my past, but I don't want to tell because it is embarrassing. Read more →